We keep looking for the perfect companion to start a relationship with; however, we fail to recognise that the definition of our perfection is based on our knowledge, exposure and experience. Furthermore, the concept of perfection shifts during life. So then, how can we believe that what we’ve discovered is perfect?
We don’t like getting into a relationship or falling in love but we like the ‘idea’ of it!
A relationship is much more than simply love; it’s also about efforts. Being in a relationship is not the end of the world; it’s only the beginning!
Majority of us have associated relationships with compatibility. Being compatible is being able to coexist harmoniously. But do we always feel at peace with our thoughts/actions/decisions? NO, is the answer. Still, we make an attempt to clear our minds of all the gaps, negativity, ambiguity and noise from our heads and start over since that is our relationship with ourselves.
So, if not compatibility, what really defines our relationships with others? Truth is, our relationship with “ourselves” defines our relationship with “others”. Throughout my corporate career, I have encountered a variety of people having different takes on relationships. However, most of them understood the fundamentals of the relationship once they got into it; hence, I am sharing their thoughts as well as mine, on what you should know before getting into a relationship.
Know Yourself
To avoid becoming lost in a relationship, you need to understand yourself first. You may avoid feeling lost by being self-aware and observant about your thoughts, decisions and choices. Before you enter into a relationship, ask yourself – What are your non-negotiables (things you will not tolerate or compromise on at any cost), your boundaries, your needs and how do you envision a healthy relationship?
Drop the baggage
Dropping your baggage is about letting go of your past experiences, particularly the negative ones. Drop them before getting into a relationship. We all need to heal from the past and it takes time; however, being conscious of this prevents the damage it can cause to your relationship. When we carry our past experiences with us, we constantly compare the current ones with the previous ones.
Be who you are! Don’t pretend to exist
Staying true to yourself is key for you and your partner to know each other better. It is not necessary that you should like the same things as your partner; nonetheless, pretending to like them can harm the relationship in the long term. Staying in a relationship does not necessitate that you have to lose your own individuality. Unapologetically, be yourself!
Respect is more vital than love
Respect is a conscious emotion but love is an unconscious state of mind! One cannot sustain any relationship without respect and respecting oneself is just as crucial as respecting others. Hence, do not be reluctant to demand respect and make it a non-negotiable in a relationship.
Life isn’t a movie and it isn’t happily ever after always
Though movies have taught us about love and romance since we were children, the relationship is much more than that. Making a relationship flourish takes work and you should only be in one if you are prepared or willing to work on it. Relationships frequently deteriorate because we cease putting in the same amount of effort to keep them as we did to start them.
“A relationship is like a house. When a light switch does not work, you do not buy a new house. You fix the light switch.” – Unknown
“Renowned American author, Donald Miller, said – “When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”
“We can only learn to love by loving. We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here”- Unknown
